Dear Mr. Airline CEO

Well, fellas, you still don’t get it, do you? Last year, I offered several suggestions to help you turn your struggling airline industry around. They might have worked. One will never know, because you didn’t try any of them. Here we are, a year later, and nothing much has changed.

Oh, wait! Something has changed. Last year at this time, there were two of you operating under the cozy protection of bankruptcy. This year, those two have slid over and made room for two more. Let’s see, that means 67 percent of the major domestic carriers are now operating under bankruptcy protection.

Let’s take a walk down Memory Lane and recall the letter I wrote to you on November 29, 2004. My 2005 observations are in brackets.

Dear Gerard, Gerald, Glenn, Gordon, Douglas, and Bruce,

As we approach the holiday season, I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday and extend my most sincere wishes for your survival. I realize that the past several years have stressed you out in the ivory towers and I am afraid that you may have lost sight of the big picture.

So as a favor — call this an early Christmas present — I’ll help you put the big picture into perspective.

You fly planes. You are not in the direct-to-consumer sales business. You have a ready, willing and able sales force to handle your distribution. Remember travel agents? Carlson Wagonlit? American Express? ASTA? Home-based? The thousands upon thousands of independents? Orbitz? Travelocity? Expedia?

Just pay them something for the effort and they will reward you with full flights and, what’s more, customer service. America West has done it and the last time I checked, their balance sheet was fairly healthy. [Bruce, you may finally be out of the woods. Make sure Doug Parker is on your Christmas card list!] Besides, travel agents have already demonstrated that they are survivors. They’re still here despite your best efforts.

You are not in the restaurant business. Stop trying to convince your passengers that you are. Your catered food, when available, is horrible, and the real restaurants have plenty of options in the airports. Save your meals for the really long flights, save some money and offer some prepackaged snacks. Sit down, shut up and eat your peanuts.

You are not the mafia. Stop acting like it. People are willing to pay you good money to use your planes. Stop trying to extort more money from them with fee upon fee upon fee. You are not charged a penny when you return to a retail store for a price accommodation because your goods were just put on sale. Why do you think it is fair for you to do this to your customers? [And Doug S., passing on the PFCs really is a fare increase. Let’s call a spade a spade.]

If you want to operate a cartel, why not just shake everyone down at the gate and collect all their loose change? But be careful, a horse head in the bed is worse than cabin lights coming on after a red-eye.

You are not in the cruise business or the hotel business. Stop trying to meddle in that market. If you guys could get your own house in order, I might understand the push. But first things first. It is bad enough that your customers hate to fly on your planes. Now they might get a chance to hate a perfectly good cruise line.

You are in the people moving business. You know, as in elevators, escalators, moving walkways, mass transit. You move people from point A to point B. You employ tens of thousands of bean counters to tell you how much it costs to operate your business. Price yourself accordingly. Do not play games. They do not work and one would think that after the past four or five years you would have seen that they do not work. [Doug S.? You listening?]

How many harebrained schemes have you devised that have failed? Douglas, remember the GDS “sharing”? This is not the sharing you learned in kindergarten. What about those “use-it-or-lose-it” tickets that you all, dare I say “colluded,” on implementing?

Instead of trying to figure out ways to land the golden parachute, concentrate on landing the planes — preferably on time and safely, but if it needs to be late, not that much. And please let your customers know what is going on.

Gerard, there is nothing special in the air. Gerald, we don’t love the way you fly. Glenn, your skies are anything but friendly. Gordon, the proud bird with the golden tail is molting. Douglas, some people really know how to fly — unfortunately, it seems their names are Kelleher, Neeleman, Leonard and Parker. And Bruce, while US Airways may begin with me, you need to remember it may also end with me. [Bruce, maybe a Christmas gift is in order as well, come to think of it.]

Gentleman, fly your planes, price them fairly and treat your employees, agents and customers as you would want to be treated yourself.

You do have some outstanding talent out there — look at your pilots, flight attendants, mechanics, gate agents, ground crew, management, travel agents, caterers, cleaners. They want to earn a fair wage and they want to work for you. Treat them and pay them fairly and soon you will reap the rewards.

Happy holidays.

Wow, last year I had 741 words and this year it’s 777. That is not a lot of change, but then again, as I look at the industry, I guess that’s par for the course!

B Is For Barcelona

When you think of the “A List” of European cities, London, Paris and Rome immediately come to mind. But like the 45s of yesteryear (yes, I am that old, and I do remember them), western Europe has several “B-side” destinations that become popular favorites as soon as you pay them attention. Barcelona is one of them. Now, with summer airfares to Europe predicted to remain fairly stable, this cosmopolitan Mediterranean capital is a must-see.

My latest trip to Barcelona began with a connection in London — not the most direct itinerary, but the inconvenience was far outweighed by the view I had as we crossed the Pyrenees coming into Spain. As we flew over the clouds, I could barely distinguish the snow-capped mountains from the peaks of the clouds — quite a view, and a hint of the sometimes-surreal experience that Barcelona presents on the ground.

Where to go

Find your way to La Rambla, Barcelona’s famous tree-lined street in the heart of the city. Stretching from the port (Port Vell) to Placa Catalunya, La Rambla serves as the boundary between the neighborhoods of El Ravel to the west and Barre Gotic to the east. Barre Gotic (Gothic Quarter), the medieval section of this ancient seaside town, has many bars, restaurants and historical sites. Watch the many street performers and stroll the open-air markets (the bird market is my favorite). While you may be tempted to check out the ornate Gran Teatre del Liceu, the opera house on La Rambla, keep in mind that it is no historic building; in fact, it was built in the late 1990s.

For the real deal in ornate architecture, head for La Sagrada Família (Holy Family Cathedral), Antoni Gaudi’s astonishing exercise in Gothic surrealism — and Barcelona’s most famous landmark. The foundation stone was set 1882, yet construction continues to this day. Since most of the plans for the cathedral were destroyed in the Spanish Civil War, the craftsmen who are completing the work are pretty much guessing as to Gaudi’s vision. Although you can take an elevator to some of the higher reaches, I suggest you climb the stairs if you are able. There are plenty of cutouts from which you can view the city and the construction below. As the spire narrows, so does the diameter of the circular stairway, and if the steps don’t take your breath away, the view certainly will.

For a relaxing afternoon, spend some time in Parc Güell, where you can see more of Gaudi’s art and architecture. For the kids, as well as for a spectacular view of the city and sea, take the Blue Tram to Tibidabo, an amusement park on top of a hill overlooking the city. Check the operating hours first (I learned this the hard way!). Montjuic, a seaside hill overlooking Port Vell, is home to the 1992 Olympic Stadium, several museums and a hilltop fort that protected the city from unfriendly ships in days gone by.

Barcelona has literally too many museums to mention, but if you would like a list or a recommendation, e-mail me or surf over to the Tripso Forums and ask one of our professional travel planners.

What to eat

There are plenty of restaurants in Barcelona, but one of my favorites is Escriba Xiringuito, which looks out over the beach. The wait for an outside table is worth it — just order an aperitif and hang with the locals until one opens up. The tapas are fantastic and include fried vegetable morsels, croquettes, and sardines. In my opinion, Escriba’s claim to fame is the desserts: The pastries are some of the best I have ever eaten.

I am a firm believer in dining where the locals dine, and the people of Barcelona do not disappoint me. Folquer, a small and intimate place with a big local clientele, is another of my favorites. While it does offer some very chic dishes, it is their traditional Catalan fare, such as scrambled eggs and mushrooms, that sets this restaurant apart. The menu is prix fixe and is very reasonable.

Botafumeiro is a Barcelona institution noted for its fine seafood and fantastic oysters. But like any noted restaurant, it comes with a price, so save it for a special night on the town. The menu is huge and has offerings other than fish. Such a fine seafood restaurant deserves to be on the Mediterranean, but alas, this one is located in the city, on a busy street.

Where to stay

Eurostars Grand Marina has a location worthy of its 5-star rating: It sits at the end of a pier extending out into the Mediterranean at Port Vell. While not inexpensive at $350 a night, it is a good value because the amenities and atmosphere are so superior. The rooms are very modern with hardwood floors and sharp angles. The views from most rooms are spectacular, and the hotel is very convenient to La Rambla, Montjuic, and the waterfront. A cable car stops at the front entrance, or you can take a nice walk to shops and restaurants.

The hotel works equally well for business and leisure travelers. The service is impeccable, and the food at the restaurant Aire de Mar, which seats 120, represents the best dishes of Mediterranean cuisine. The only disappointment is the hotel’s small rooftop pool, which is crowded in summer and typically closed in winter.

Easier on the wallet is the Hotel H10 Catalunya Plaza, on Placa Catalunya. This small hotel has all the amenities you could want, including room service, breakfast buffets and quaint balconies for people watching. It is conveniently located, and the average price for a room is approximately $175 per night.

Just as “Fool on the Hill” and “When I’m Sixty-Four” were both B-side tunes that became No. 1 hits for the Fab Four, Barcelona is an often-overlooked city that will fast become a favorite with anyone who strolls her streets. So take a walk on the flip side. Barcelona might just go to the top of your chart.