The Ten Commandments of Travel

OK, so I am not a religion scholar and I have no idea how long it took God to come up with the Ten Commandments for us mortals to live a good and moral life. (I do know that travelers the world over have been squawking for a Passenger's Bill of Rights for many years.) But over the years, I have learned a thing or two about travel, and -- believe me -- the airlines, cruise lines, car rental agencies, and the hotel industry are not always the devils in the travel realm. The devils are often the travelers themselves.

So, with many thanks to the members of our Tripso Forums (whose contributions are noted in parentheses), I offer you the Ten Commandments of Travel.

1. Thou shalt promise to be a smart traveler and shalt not succumb to the temptation of phony "last-minute travel deals." Neither shalt thou fall for the "become-a-travel-agent-and-travel-for-free" deal. Remember, also, that if something appears too good to be true, it probably is. (mtp51)

2. Thou shalt promise to ignore all those seemingly friendly people in Cancun who want to give you a "free ride" to your hotel. (DCTravelAgent)

3. Thou shalt promise to understand (and look up in the dictionary, if necessary) the meaning of "nonrefundable" as it pertains to your travel bookings. (DCTravelAgent)

4. Thou shalt promise to remember that your safety is not the responsibility of the cruise line, the FBI, the Aruban government or even your flight attendant, James Wysong. Your safety may be his priority, but it is your responsibility.

5. Thou shalt understand that the people in the brochure are not going to be vacationing with you. Corollary: If ye seek beachgoers in thongs, ye will likely find overweight, hirsute seniors in thongs -- and they will be equally proportioned between genders.

6. Thou shalt understand that weather happens and that yelling at your travel agent, front desk clerk or the bus driver will not change it. If a climate-controlled vacation is what you want, stay in your living room. (wrp96)

7. Thou shalt not complain about Mexicans speaking Spanish in Mexico, Italians speaking Italian in Italy, or Japanese speaking Japanese in Japan. Thou shalt further promise to learn a few phrases in the local language yourself so as not to come off looking like an ignorant American.

8. Thou shalt exchange your currency for the local currency and use it. Aside from much of the Caribbean and some places in Mexico, most of the world does not want U.S. money -- it really isn't worth that much! (Kairho)

9. Thou shalt promise to be polite to all travel workers you encounter, including hotel staff, airline staff and cruise staff. (msnovtue)

10. Thou shalt promise to keep your papers in order. Passports need to be acquired before you leave. (You can download an application here.) Confirmations and vouchers should be kept handy and not packed in your suitcase. (Priscilla)

11. Thou shalt remember that when something does go wrong, you should complain about it immediately -- not after stewing about it for weeks after you get home.

12. Thou shalt control thine offspring. Traveling with your kids is a lot of fun, but please, try to keep them in check. Need some tips? Check out this Web site for single parents who travel.

OK, so there are Twelve Commandments, but hey, travel often seems more challenging than leading a good and moral life.

Holiday Inn Makes A Big Splash

Unless you live on one of the coasts, getting to the beach for some splash fun usually involves a plane trip or a cross-country jaunt in the station wagon. Well, water lovers, take heart. There is a new breed of water park out there that brings that family fun a lot closer to home.

Quietly over the past few years, one of the icons of the American roadway has been developing themed water parks with the idea of bringing the beach to Middle America. Flume rides, hot tubs, splash zones, water slides, geysers, sprinklers, wading pools, spas, exercise facilities, shuffleboard, air hockey and foosball are all now available at a Holiday Inn near you!

Wait. Holiday Inn? That mainstay of the highway?

Yes, that Holiday Inn.

Actually, it makes a certain kind of sense when you remember that Holiday Inn was the first hotel chain to boast a pool at every property. That achievement, attained sometime in the middle of the last century, has simply undergone an update: Now Holiday Inn presents itself as a new kind of low-cost, family-centered vacation alternative. With 12 properties in some unusual, not-so-vacationy locales, a Holiday Inn water park makes a nice getaway for families who don't have the time, money or inclination to take a full-blown exotic vacation. Plus, the water parks are built indoors, so the family vacation is weatherproof.

I have to admit, this development took me by surprise. Who would have thunk? I decided to check it out, beginning with the Holiday Inn Hotel & Suites in Maple Grove, Minn., the chain's 12th hotel-with-water-park, which opened January 30.

Maple Grove's water park, which covers 25,000 square feet and has a Venetian theme, encompasses an arcade, two four-story water slides, a 20-person spa, the Bambini Piscina toddler pool and an activity pool that features basketball hoops. The Venetian theme is carried throughout the park with cobblestone streets, gondolas, a twinkle-light ceiling and a replica of the Ponte di Rialto.

The hotel's two restaurants, Palazzo Ristorante and Concessioni, offer a variety of menu options from snacks to full-service meals. And, as at all Holiday Inn hotels, kids 12 and younger eat free when they order from the kids' menu and they are accompanied by a dining adult. You can't get much more kid-friendly than that!

The hotel has 136 rooms, of which about 50 are suites -- some with the usual two-rooms-and-sofa-bed setup and others, geared toward larger families, equipped with bunk beds and Sony PlayStations. As a business traveler (as well as a family traveler) I appreciate that Holiday Inn offers high-speed wireless Internet access in its rooms at no charge. You read that right -- none of that $9.99 a day surcharge!

Even more surprising are the rates. While they vary from hotel to hotel, they are generally very family- and wallet-friendly. Including access to the water park, the rates typically range from about $150 per room per night to just under $700 for a suite that can accommodate 12.

The Holiday Inns that have the new water parks are all in the Midwest, and include properties in Iowa, Ohio, Illinois, North Dakota, Indiana, Nebraska, Wisconsin and Minnesota. A complete listing sets out all the amenities, terms and conditions.
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Holiday Inn is not alone in offering themed lodging in the heartland. Great Wolf Lodge, a lesser-known hotel chain, has sprung up with wilderness-themed properties in 10 locations, including such tourist destinations as Williamsburg, Virginia, the Pocono Mountains and Niagara Falls, as well as some less-visited destinations like Sandusky, Ohio, Grapevine, Texas, and Traverse City, Mich.

While I had been aware of traditional water parks for a long time, I hadn't noticed the hotel industry was focusing on them as well. Now I see them everywhere. A few years ago, Sunset Beach Resort & Spa, in Montego Bay, Jamaica, opened an outdoor water park (which is a little strange, because isn't Jamaica an outdoor water park in and of itself?) with the largest water slide on the island. You can even get a water park on the ocean: aboard Royal Caribbean's Freedom of the Seas, which has a water park on the top deck.

I'm not sure where my kids and I will find ourselves this summer, but I do have some good friends in Minneapolis, and the kids do love the Mall of America, and the Minneapolis Zoo is pretty cool. Toss in a brand-new water park outside our hotel-room door, and Maple Grove, Minnesota, is looking pretty good about now.