Boscobel: Bringing The Best Out Of Us All!

I am not going to take credit for this story at all. It has been very slightly edited but I wanted to share perhaps one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. The story is about a Single Parent Travel organized trip to Beaches Boscobel in August 2007. Originally there were to be close to 35 families traveling down, but Hurricane Dean had some other ideas and many canceled or postponed. There were six that braved the winds and what follows is the most touching story I have ever read. I am proud that I can say I had a small part in this. I thank Suzanne Podolski for sharing this.

August 18, 2007 Hurricane Dean, a category 4 hurricane, ripped and roared like a famished lion, it stormed its way to and through the lavish green land and aqua marine jeweled waters of Jamaica. Before Dean arrived, when the sun awoke the horizon that morning, the sounds of hammers pounding nails into boards across most doors and windows bounced through the air, silver duct tape was placed across the windows in an “X” shape along with some crosses, and a couple of Stars of David. I was in Jamaica at the Beaches Boscobel Resort. I felt good, safe, I had been looking forward to this vacation a long time. And, while only there for my first day, there was a change in the air and it nothing to do with Dean.

Most of the resort guests prepared for the storm either camping out in their rooms or in the lavish ballroom sized lobby. There was even a poster sized picture of Dean with violent red blob splattered across the entire island of Jamaica; but the music of the steel drums played on. A very red life sized Elmo and a blindingly bright blue colored Cookie monster danced the Cuban shuffle with the younger children as other guests found comfort on sofas and cushions scattered about making bracelets, playing board games. Others watched movies. Most of the people were at ease, they mirrored the nature of the people of the resort, of the island, removed from the fury of Mother Nature’s temper tantrum outside our safe haven.

Not far from the lobby a small group gathered inside room 1224. Six families came together to share a once in a lifetime experience--and a meeting with Dean. These guests were unfettered and unafraid of Dean and what he represented; they had already weathered many a storm.

The six parents mentioned above are all single parents. Some of these parents had been single since the birth of their child, some were divorced and there was one single parent that adopted her child as a single mom. The dynamics of these families may differ, yet they all share the difficultly delightful struggles of raising children alone. While on the yellow and green patio that overlooked the paradise colored flowers and enormous palm trees of the landscaped resort; room 1224 parents drank dirty bananas, toasted champagne, ate a rainbow assortment of fruit, laughed and bonded watching silver marble sized rain drops fall, watching the wind shake the trees and bushes as if to purposely shake the coconuts into the gothic gray sky. Nine children sat on one of three beds in the room some playing video games, some watching TV, eating “movie snacks” and goodies sent up along with a complete party package of food that covered the antique chestnut colored coffee table with early nineteenth century silver plated handles on the drawers.

When I got divorced many things changed. It took a long time for me to accept and love my new family; it was just me and my two children. I tried to take vacations, but single parent travel was impossible emotionally, physically, and financially. I researched for years trying to find resorts and hotels that accommodated single parents, I even sent letters to Disney, but for the longest time there were no vacation packages that didn’t require double occupancy. Plenty of hotels offer children stay free, but you still had to pay for two adults. It is as if single parents are being penalized for being single.

Luck changed, I found a four leaf clover about a year ago www.singleparenttravel.net. This web site is filled with a lot of helpful tips for traveling with your children and has various vacation packages that fit their special needs. I signed up for their newsletter; my fingers couldn’t type fast enough. It was in April of 2007 that I read of the fifth annual Single Parent Travel trip to Beaches Boscobel.

Together with Beaches Resorts, the single supplement was waived (of up to $190 per night) at Boscobel in Jamaica and Turks & Caicos. Even better, it was all inclusive. Drinks, food, entertainment for the kids, entertainment for the adults, cocktail parties, private boating, child care, water sports; it was all included. I called the owner of Single Parents Travel, John W. Frenaye, Jr to verify what I was reading (I thought for sure I needed a pair of stronger prescription glasses). I also asked about childcare for my autistic daughter. My daughter is a 130 pounds, five foot eight teenager with the loving sweet nature; but the compulsivity and demeanor of a three year old. My plate may be full; but it’s like Thanksgiving dinner full. Needless to say, what Beaches Resorts was offering was more than appealing me. When I was assured that the resort would accommodate any and all needs even if it meant cutting me a discount on the private nanny program, I said, “Sign me up!” What I found was gold, Caribbean Sea booty, a reasonably priced vacation, help when needed and best of all; I wouldn’t be traveling alone.

I booked my trip months in advance so when the Hurricane warnings started broadcasting five days before my departure I was concerned; would they still be providing us meals? Not having to cook for one day let alone a week is a vacation. I called John who is the best agent, courteous, attentive and genuinely concerned with your needs. He sent emails daily keeping everyone posted on Hurricane developments and spoke constantly with hotel managers and communicating all of the updates. According to John the resort would be providing food, drink, anything and everything needed. I later discovered that the Jamaican people just don’t say “No Worry”, they live it.

The people of Jamaica, the staff at the Resort, the overall experience exceeded my expectations. Bright white smiles of the people were contagious and the warm inviting demeanor of the staff, especially those that worked with the children brought a wave of relaxation; there were no worries.

The party in 1224 continued long after the storm passed and the Caribbean sun kissed our cheeks. While the adults danced in the Disco to Cisco and TLC sipping Coco Loco’s, the children in Room 1224 had a slumber party. It was 1AM in the morning, six parents crowed in the doorway of 1224 as my teenage son, the babysitter for the evening, placed his finger in front of his wide smiled mouth that sparkled from the light of the moon reflecting off his braces. One parent peered into the room where her three children slept in one bed. Two were asleep in the other and my daughter was asleep on the sofa couch next to the patio. Cute beyond words, kittens and puppies had nothing on our kids at that moment; our families were really coming together.

Our families ate almost every meal together, every day was Thanksgiving. We went out and watched our children participate in the many shows coordinated by the events coordinator. As our families bonded, taking pictures of each other kids, holding them, loving them, cheering for them; a rainbow came alive; my autistic daughter blossomed like a cherry blossom in Spring. After many of our children sang karaoke my daughter said she wanted to sing. Barely able to read, having never initiated such a desire to do something with or in front of other children; my daughter pointed to a song in the book and said “yes, me sing.” The song was, “I Think I Love You,” by the Partridge family. I stood with her wanting to help, but she pushed me away. The music played, flashes from the parents were like fireworks; my daughter read “I think I love you” at the right times! While it had always been a strong assumption that she could read, her language is so underdeveloped she could barely read aloud. It was truly a miracle and it didn’t stop there.

My daughter did more than see families come together, she experienced it. On the day before we left Jamaica she took my hand in hers for the first time in her 13 years of life. It was the first time she reached out for me intimately and said “ahh how cute, mommy and Michelle best friends forever;” my family came together. My family has already planned to return to another Beaches resort next year; my new-found extended family as well. Beaches and Sandals Resorts are truly like no other in so many ways. Every sense of your being is tantalized from the joyful sounds of a happy island to the fragrant smells of an abundance of flowers. From the way your taste buds dance in delight of exquisitely prepared food to the tranquilizing touch of a massage under illuminating stars. I can still see with my eyes closed, the experience of my single parent vacation at Beaches was wondrous.

Sense of spirit magnified tenfold while vacationing at the Beaches Resort. I share the feeling of having become a better friend, a person and parent with members of group 1224 on vacation that extends past the seven days we spent on the island. Group 1224 have emailed and phoned each other since touchdown back in America and there will be east and west coast gatherings prior to our Single Parent Vacation Reunion in 2008. We all, this includes the children, embrace single parent families as something special, marvelous and no different from any other family when it comes to how we love our family.

It's Not Easy Being Green

Green. Forever, it has been my favorite color. Green this and green that. Kermit is green. The Pitons of St. Lucia are green. My face after a particularly rough night out with my friends might be green. But when did travel get so green?

Admittedly, I am not entirely on the environmental bandwagon. I could recycle more judiciously, and I probably ought to spring for those energy-efficient light bulbs. As for my SUV, well, I still have a few more payments on it. But suddenly all the travel world is green with environmental responsibility, and I suppose, being in the business, I ought to have an opinion on it.

And I do.

I have done a good deal of traveling to Europe and Asia in recent years, and I have taken notice of many of the differences between our culture and theirs. I find their historic places simply amazing and captivating. I find the food typically overrated (especially in Paris), and the service fairly mediocre. The wine is okay in France (but I think California has them beat), horrible in England and deplorable in Portugal – well, ok, I will give the port a pass.

But when it comes to environmental friendliness, the overseas crowd has the U.S. beat -- hands down. Unlike Americans, they have been green for some time. In fact, it's almost scary how wasteful we are when you see how serious other countries are about conservation.

Can we do a better job? Of course we can! Here are seven small steps to help keep the planet green.

Traveling light. Do you really need three suitcases for a one-week vacation? You know you'll end up sticking most of your outfits in a hotel closet “just in case” you'll need one. But the more weight you carry, the more fuel your plane, train or automobile will use. If we could cut back on all the extra weight that people carry around in their luggage, I bet we could actually lower some airfares. My advice: Pack your bags once, and then try to cut the weight in half.

Toilets. The rest of the world now has two types of flushers on their toilets: There is a small button to flush #1, and a larger button to flush #2. The #1 button uses a lot less water, a precious resource we need to conserve. Excellent idea, though I’m not quite ready to embrace the “latrine” method of conservation seen in many places in Asia.

Toiletries. Don't bring them, or at least leave behind those that the hotel will likely place in your room as a courtesy. I was in the habit of buying those cute, sample-sized shampoos, conditioners, toothpaste tubes, etc. when it dawned on me that they are almost as much plastic as product. Besides, if you are off on your measurements, the TSA is going to take them away from you.

Lights. Just because you're in a hotel doesn't give you carte blanche to leave all the lights on and the water running in the shower. Well, maybe if it is a Motel 6 you can leave a light on — they like that. Producing electricity takes a huge toll on our environment, turn off the lights when you are out of the room. Actually, you might not have a choice. A lot of hotels now have light switches that operate off your room key. So when the key is out, so are the lights. I know hotel prices are high, but don’t fall into the stupid mindset of thinking you have to “get your money's worth.” That's just plain dumb and irresponsible.

Sheets. Most hotels will only change your bed sheets upon your request. Don't request it. Use the same sheets for your entire stay, and if you are on a long stay, change them only occasionally. Same goes for towels. (Incidentally, the universal symbol for requesting fresh towels is to toss the wet ones on the floor. Sort of like Larry Craig’s symbols for restroom companionship — well, maybe not.)

Getting around. Take public transportation when you can. Subways, buses, trams, rickshaws -- all are more efficient and environmentally friendly than private cars and the dreaded taxi. Taxis are expensive and a decided detriment to the environment. Ever been to Hong Kong? Ever witness a cab line at an airport? All of those exhaust fumes going into the air? So, if you can get there some other way, go for it. The added bonus is that you will be traveling like a local.

Food. Good news: The Fat Citizen Award, which Americans seemingly have won for more years than not, may have to be relinquished. The rest of the world is catching up pretty fast, with the Brits and the French right on our heels. Keep it up. Less food is good for the planet: fewer trees being cut for farmland, fewer trucks moving the products, and fewer pesticides, preservatives, and dyes polluting our bodies.

One person is not going to save the planet. But if we all do a little bit, we will ultimately make a difference. So, turn off the light, take a bus, reuse the towel, pack lighter, monitor your flushing, use the hotel toiletries and pass on that second Big Mac. Mother Earth will thank you!

Yippee Ka Yay

Back in my youth I used to ride horses, but that was a long time ago. Last weekend, I had the opportunity to check out something new to me -- a dude ranch. My three kids and I packed up the old Ford Expedition and headed to New York.

Yep, that’s right, New York. Well, not Manhattan, but about 90 minutes north to a small town called Highland and a place called the Rocking Horse Ranch Resort. This was a quick getaway before the holidays organized by a great organization called Single Parent Travel, and since I am single, a parent and I like to travel, I persuaded my kids that it was time for a road trip.

Let me be the first to admit that my kids are spoiled. We usually fly, and I am usually able to obtain upgrades to first class with points or by charm, so the prospect of a five-hour road seemed a bit daunting to me. But with a GPS, a borrowed radar detector, a charged-up E-ZPass and a lead foot, we shaved about 40 minutes off the trip, and arrived unscathed and in good spirits.
I am not sure what we expected. After all, New York is not the center of dude ranch country, but after 48 hours we were converts to the Northeast cowboy experience. For anyone within 350 miles of New York City, this is a perfect year-round getaway for families, couples and singles. There are activities and amenities to appeal to literally everyone from toddlers to octogenarians.

The ranch is what I call “mostly-inclusive,” i.e., you pay for incidentals like the snack bar, video games, gift shop purchases and your booze. But the activities and meals are included in a very reasonable price. Our weekend for three kids and one adult (sharing a basic but very good-sized room) was under $700.

After we checked in, our first stop was to sign up for the trail rides and our dining time. The ranch maintains a stable of 135 horses (all Western -- after all, it wouldn’t be a ranch if they were English), a full blacksmith shop and a huge group of wranglers to make sure the experience is safe for everyone. Kids must be 7 to ride, no exceptions. The hour-long trail rides are ranked beginner (walk), intermediate (walk, trot) and advanced (yeee hah!); five rides are offered each day at each level. We decided to all ride together and over the weekend moved from beginner (two rides) to intermediate (three rides). We had a blast.

The dinners had a cruise-like feel. We ate at a large table with other single parents who were a part of our group, and the food was very good and plentiful. The menu varied each night and there were always enough choices to please even the pickiest eater (my younger daughter). My son says he has had better ribs, but my prime rib was outstanding. Breakfast was a buffet with open seating and eggs cooked to order -- a perfect way to start the day. Lunch was the lowest-key meal of the day. To be honest, we never ate lunch; we were too busy with other stuff!

It was almost winter when we visited, but the resort had a ton of indoor activities to keep us busy, including archery, a rifle range, arts and crafts, an indoor pool (with a faux tree that dumped buckets of water on your head), a fitness room, and a fun-packed barn that had Ping-Pong tables, moon bounces, an automatic rock-climbing machine, volleyball and an area for shooting foam balls at each other with air powered “guns.”

For those who don’t mind a little nip in the air, there was miniature golf, rock climbing, paddle boats, fishing, hiking, pony rides for the little guys, tennis, basketball, outdoor volleyball, softball, shuffleboard, bocce and more. Since we were between seasons, the outdoor pool and many of the other water activities (water skiing, banana boats) were closed down, and the ski area had yet to open. But the resort can make snow when the temperatures drop low enough, and the ranch looks like a great spot to learn to ski or just zip down a hill on an inner tube. This truly is a year-round resort!

Since the ranch is out in the middle of nowhere (it really is), the resort has put together a great evening program for everyone. There were bands, comics, magicians, karaoke and a mentalist who really freaked me out. The indoor pool is open late, as is the rustic and very Western-looking lobby bar and the game room in the basement for the kids. The Cactus Lounge is the place for teens to hang out and grab some grub. On Saturday night, the mentalist was an adults-only show, so the kids were ushered out, supervised and sugared up with a huge ice cream party -- perfect for settling down around 1a.m. (not!).

The Single Parent Travel group had a few private parties to meet and get to know one another. On Friday afternoon there was a wine and cheese party, and on Saturday evening, we had a get-together in the night club with a house band and a buffet of warm appetizers and some Rocking Horse Punch (which it packed). Single Parent Travel (SPT) offers a great program for single parents who want to travel together and share common experiences. Their prices are very affordable, and their trips include everything from weekend jaunts like ours to a weeklong Harry Potter trip to Britain and a full-scale South African safari. SPT also offers a free newsletter and an online forum.

I went into this Western-style weekend a little skeptical, but came away a true fan of the resort. SPT is planning another trip to the ranch in March and I have already put my name on the list. If you are looking for a fun and different experience in the Northeast, check it out. In the meantime, check out some of the pictures on my photo site.

For more information:

Rocking Horse Ranch
800-647-2624

Single Parent Travel
888-2-SPT-KIDS (888-277-8543)

Readers Get Peevish

A while back, I laid out some of my pet peeves about cruising. Being ever so humble, I thought I had covered most of the bases, but I asked for readers' peeves as well, just in case I had missed any. Well, apparently, travel is fraught with peeves. Who knew? My inbox was flooded, but these 16 complaints really caught my attention. I offer hearty thanks to my readers for sounding off.

Why do people need to fill a plate like it is their last meal at an all-you-can-eat buffet? --John, Washington, D.C.

I can't stand it when people feel "special." They know the rules are supposed to apply to everyone, but they feel that they -- of course -- are the exception. You see it everywhere on a cruise. --Annie, Boston, Mass.

My biggest problem on a vacation involves misbehaving kids. Before takeoff, one child was demanding of the flight attendants, loud and aggressive. At times she would turn to me and tell me to get out of "Harry Potter's seat." Her parents did nothing. Daddy put on his noise-canceling headphones and Mommy "fell asleep." --Chad, Billings, Mont.

My biggest pet peeve on a vacation is the cell phone users. Cruises, resorts and restaurants! People, it is vacation, and you are probably not that important! --Mary, Dania, Fla.

Learn how to use the elevator! When the elevator stops for you to board, step back and give those passengers in the elevator room to step off. I don't know how many times I've had to push my way out through the crowd or wait for others to get in the elevator before I could get off. --Catherine, Carroll, Iowa

People who think that society rules/customs in other countries are the same as here, in the United States. Example: One of the things I admire (among a host of others) about the Riviera Maya (Cancun/Playa del Carmen) is that unlike here [in New York], you are allowed to actually smoke in bars and restaurants. What peeves me is when other people start crying about "how rude it is" to smoke in bars and restaurants! Different society = different rules! --David, Westchester, N.Y.

My peeve: the person(s) who seem to feel that if they aren't the first in line on the bus, the dining line, etc., the "ship will sail without them." --Jo, Myrtle Beach, S.C.

I have many times seen Americans at a buffet line in a foreign country and they go through picking pieces of food and smelling them. How rude! --Cynthia Tuten, Hong Kong

Get rid of that obnoxious Nextel beep! And while you are at it, ditch the beeps for the walkie-talkies! --Mark, Vancouver, British Columbia

Stop nickel-and-diming me to death! I've cruised enough to know that the art auction, the photographers, the soda charges and the excursions are just ways to rip more money out of my pocket. --Peter, Denver, Colo.

What is the deal with charging full price for my kids when I am traveling with them? Do they really drink that much booze at the all-inclusive resort? [Note: I agree. Check out Single Parent Travel to see about working around that. J.F.] --Hillary, Groton, Conn.

What's with the smuggling of the booze aboard the cruise ship? You would think Internet cruise boards were invented solely to teach others how to hide their booze. If you are that cheap, stay home. --Jim, Fort Worth, Texas

Senior citizens who, because the good Lord gave them longevity, think they have a right to get on the elevator before anyone is allowed off. --William, Santa Clarita, Calif.

If you must talk with someone who is not sitting with you on an airplane, figure a way to do it without sticking your ass in my face! --Kristine, Duluth, Minn.

People who expect all service-oriented staff members to have an excellent command of the English language and cause a scene or get very rude when they don't. --Sam, Anchorage, Alaska.

People who come to the "free breakfast" in their pajamas. --John, Destin, Fla.

I am sure some of these pet peeves are going to make other readers peevish, too. All I can say is: Don't shoot the messenger!

Got more to add? Drop me an e-mail.

The Internet: Friend Or Foe?

Three years ago, I wrote a column -- "Fire Your Travel Agent" -- that suggested there are times when you don't need the services of a professional travel agent. It raised the ire of my fellow travel agents, but I think a lot of the advice remains solid. Well, maybe not all of it. Back in '04 (seems so long ago), I recommended that if you were "'Net-savvy," you might be able to navigate the world of travel on your own and snag some great last-minute deals. Today, I'm not so sure.

My colleague Christopher Elliott writes a nationally syndicated ombudsman column. Over the years, I have noticed that Chris has spent more and more time solving the mistakes of travelers who decided to go it alone and book their travel on the Internet. Don't believe me? Check out the heroics in his last seven columns solving problems for travelers who booked online with British Airways ... Travelocity ... Expedia ... United Airlines ... Orbitz ... Days Inn ... you get the picture.

I can't remember the last time I read a column that began, "Boy, did my travel agent really screw this up." Why is that?

a) Are today's travel consumers that dumb?
b) Are the Web sites that inadequate?
c) Are the dinosaur travel agents that good?

Answer: Probably a combination of all of the above.

As fate would have it, I am too old to have ridden the first Internet wave, and I missed that first dot.com craze, too. I was stuck in more traditional business pursuits. But I do remember from a programming class the famous acronym GIGO -- Garbage In, Garbage Out. Remember the 1,200-baud modems? Can you imagine them today? No, of course not. Today we live in an instant world, and sometimes we are just too quick with the click. Here's what happens:

• "Oops, I meant to put in 2008 not 2007!"
• "Dang, I meant to type in Mar(ch), not May."
• "What do you mean they need my real name? Everybody calls me 'Butch.'"

Well, if you made your booking online, the computer has only given you what you requested. Nothing more, nothing less. Now someone needs to straighten it out for you -- and there are many who will, for a fee. In these cases, the consumers really are "that dumb."

OK, so you're booked for that trip of a lifetime. You saved a bundle (you think) by piecing it all together yourself: a flight to Paris on US Airways, a quick connection to MyAir, and on to beautiful Venice! One small glitch: US Airways flies into Charles de Gaulle airport and MyAir flies out of Orly, so the 45-minute connection you planned is nowhere near time enough. Moreover, since the two carriers do not "talk" to one another, your luggage will likely enjoy a few extra days in Paris while you're wearing your airplane clothes up and down the canals of Venice.

Dumb consumer? Not really. This is specialized knowledge that the average consumer is unlikely to have. I chalk it up to dumb Internet.

The Internet is just not sophisticated enough. All it knows is that you are going to de Gaulle and then -- in a completely different book, chapter and verse -- that you are going to Venice. The Internet will provide the puzzle pieces, but it cannot put them together. Before you click, make sure you know who you are dealing with and how to resolve any issues, because there are some Web sites out there that can leave you completely stranded.

Here is a prime example of a site that leaves you nowhere. There is no identification or contact info for the agent -- just the main company name, and the "HELP" link takes you to a listing of vendors' phone numbers. When I travel, I like to get a little more service from my agent -- online or offline -- than an abbreviated Yellow Pages.

Which takes us to the "dinosaurs."

Are travel agents really that good? Probably.

Travel agents know which carriers fly into which airports. They would suspect that your real name is not "Butch." They know what question to ask when they find lots of rooms available at the resort you've requested. (The question is not "How much?" but "Why?") Travel is their business and experience counts. Yes, travel agents make mistakes, too. The difference is that we usually correct them.

The problem with the Internet is that it is going to give you what you ask for -- nothing more and nothing less. If travel were simply a commodity, this might make a good model. But travel is not a commodity; it is an experience - a business experience, a vacation experience, a family experience. And when you are traveling, a good experience is what it is all about!

It is no surprise that I am an advocate for travel agents. But I also think that the Internet has a place. If you are doing a routine trip (flight, car, hotel) without a connection, the Internet is probably the way to go. But if you have to connect, fly through some historically bad airports, are planning a special trip, or would just rather someone else deal with the hassles, the dinosaur may be your best bet.

After all, when things go wrong (and they will at some point in time), there is a lot more satisfaction in yelling at your agent than in slamming your mouse down on the desk.

6 Family Travel Headaches--Solved!

When I got into the travel business back in the '90s, I had no idea where it would take me, but over the years, I've come to specialize in a couple of niche markets: family travel and single-parent travel (in that order, thanks to a divorce in 2000). I have done many television and radio interviews on these topic over the years, and the same six questions keep popping up. So if you are getting a headache trying to figure out how to finagle your family travel, start here. I might just have your aspirin.

1. HELP! My husband wants a romantic second honeymoon, but we're taking along our toddler. Where can we go and what can we do?

The best solution is to find a trusted baby sitter or family member to watch your child while you reignite those embers of matrimony. A private two- or three-night getaway can certainly do wonders to restore romance. But if you must take Junior along, look for a destination that has a children's program. Not just a baby-sitting service, but a carefully designed, specially staffed children's program. The Camp Hyatt program (minimum age: 3) is an outstanding example. Their staff is trained in early childhood development and child care. In addition to getting a special kid-friendly menu, you can also learn to hula dance in Hawaii, search for Native American arrowheads in Texas or watch the dolphins in Florida. Another option is to take a cruise. Most cruise lines accept youngsters as young as 2, and their programs are organized into activity groups by age. In either case, you are just a beeper away from your child, and the program usually provides the beeper. In my experience, once the kids are in the program, it's hard to persuade them to leave.

2. We want a big family vacation, but we're on a budget. What should we do?

There are plenty of ways to save money on a family vacation. One is to travel in the off-season. For example, ski resorts are a lot of fun for families in the summer months, especially if you can get hold of some mountain bikes. Or look into a serviced campground; by "serviced" I mean cabins and electricity -- certainly not the "roughing-it" camping of Cub Scout days. My family has had a lot of fun at some of the Yogi Bear Campgrounds, which offer TV and phone service in the cabin. Another tip, wherever you go, is to cook your own meals (usually, it is the restaurant meals that kill the family travel budget). Finally, be sure to use any reward points you've accumulated with your airline or credit card company. They can really add up to savings.

3. I always wind up overpacking -- and yet I still forget things. Any advice?

Don't sweat it. It's like the weather: There's not much you can really do about a forgotten item, now is there? But I sympathize. I used to be a victim of my own disorganization, and I was always forgetting something critical (usually sunscreen, which for some reason costs three times as much once you reach your sunny destination). I got tired of all those trips to the gift shop, so I developed a simple and fun packing checklist. Now when we pack (and I make my kids pack themselves), I give the list to my son and put him in charge of keeping his dad and sisters on track. If you want a copy, you can download the list from my agency's Web site.

4. Our flight is nearly six hours long and we have two kids with us! What can we do to make the long trip less stressful?

With the state of air travel today, you will be lucky if the flight takes off at all, much less on time. My advice is to expect the unexpected and come to the airport prepared. Most important: Buy the kids their own seats. (Yes, it's tempting to save money by having that little one ride in your lap, but believe me, it's almost always a bad idea.) Make sure the kids have plenty to drink; good hydration will help them cope with the cabin pressurization. Set the expectations for behavior before you leave for the airport, and for heaven's sake, have plenty for them to do.

Are they old enough to own or borrow an iPod? Do they know how to use one? We downloaded a full-length movie to my son's video iPod for our last trip; a $4 headphone splitter from Radio Shack allowed his sister to listen, too, and they were both entertained for more than two hours. Battery-operated Game Boys and P2Ps are also fantastic time passers. Sudoku, word-find games, crossword puzzles, crayons and coloring books are all outstanding investments for a long trip (also plain old books, if the kids are already reading). If it is an especially long flight, ask your travel professional about the onboard entertainment; there might be a built-in gaming console at the kids' seats. (This was the case on the Cathay Pacific flight I took with my son to China a few years back, and it was a godsend.)

5. Is there a way to make everyone happy on a vacation - two adults, a teenage son, an 8-year-old daughter and our 2-year-old?

Families with a big age range have to work hard in advance of the trip. Make sure everyone is involved in the planning and make no assumptions. (For example, do not assume Gramps is too old for Disney -- he may be looking for a good excuse to be a kid again.) Look for a destination that has something for everyone, and be on the lookout for special children's programming so the grownups can have some time to themselves. Most important, don't push the idea that everyone has to spend every waking moment together. "Downtime" and "apart time" are underrated, in my opinion, and I build them into all my family vacations. For example, I took a cruise in August with my kids and their "Grammy." Most of the time, the kids were with me or they hung out with their new friends, but we ate all our dinners with Grammy, and we did a couple of shore excursions together. That way the kids avoided "Grammy overload," and Grammy was able to have a good time without having to be institutionalized when she got off the ship.

6. What are some resources for family deals, trips, advice, etc.?
My best advice is to work with a travel agent who is really interested in family travel. The Internet has many great resources, too, but take the consumer reviews with a grain of salt; after all, no two families are alike in their needs and expectations. For hotels and resorts, I like to check out Trip Advisor. For anything cruise-related, I use Cruise Critic, a wonderful forum-based Web site. Single Parent Travel is indispensable for that constituency, and Tripso has a lot of tell-it-like-it-is information on the travel industry as a whole. If you are headed to the mall, check out Borders or Barnes & Noble for some of the better guidebooks including Frommer's, Rick Steves and Zagat.

My most memorable trips have been family trips, though I'm pretty sure not one of them went off without a hitch. The above tips might help you out a bit, but the best advice, I have saved for last--just roll with the punches and enjoy the ride.

EZ Find: Where Was This Service 10 Years Ago?

I remember back in the summer of '79 (no, this is not some knockoff Bryan Adams song), when I was heading to Bermuda with my parents. As a rebellious 18-year-old, there were a million other places I would rather have been, but hey, it was Bermuda, and it was free. So, I kicked back in my seat on Eastern Airlines out of Philadelphia and lost myself in the high-tech world of my brand-new Sony Walkman. With this piece of technology, along with eight or nine cassette tapes and a pocketful of AA batteries, I could drown out the world of my family and wallow in the sounds of ELO, Styx and Boston. After we landed in Bermuda, my self-absorbed Utopian interlude came to an end -- I left the Walkman on the plane!

My, how times have changed. Today, we have dozens of gadgets and bags to leave behind -- iPods, cameras, cell phones, laptops, Blackberries, flash drives, keys, projectors, satchels, duffels and more. Enter EZFind.

Protection against loss, identity theft and access

There are plenty of services out there that produce a tag or label for your stuff. Heck, the hotels of yesteryear had their labels right on their key fobs - along with your room number. But with today's technology, the stakes are very different. For me, any loss would rise only to the level of major inconvenience. But for someone carrying sensitive information on a laptop or Blackberry, a misplaced device can quickly become a critical situation. EZFind relieves some of the anxiety of being a forgetful person in today's high-stakes world of business.

In the simplest terms, EZFind issues permanent labels and tags that you can affix to your gear or luggage. If you lose a tagged item, the finder can call a toll-free number and you will be reunited with your property at no additional cost. The system also gives some protection against identity theft, as there is no identifying information on the tag for the criminally minded to see.

But there's more to EZFind than that. Vincent Moro, EZFind's president, says the company is working on technologies that would prevent anyone from accessing your laptop or your USB drive after an EZFind safeguard had been installed on the device.

"Say your laptop is lost or stolen," Moro explains. "As soon as you report it missing, the safeguard system would go into effect. The next time the laptop boots up and makes a connection to the Internet, the IP address and Internet Service Provider would be identified and local law enforcement can be called to make the recovery."

The safeguard could also work in reverse, sending a message to the laptop that would effectively disable it. Similarly for a misplaced USB flash drive (one of the "most lost" technologies out there): If someone tries to access the drive, a splash screen comes up alerting the person that the device is protected and inaccessible -- and offering instructions on how to return it to its owner. With the number of U.S. government computers going AWOL, maybe the government ought to invest!

Ya think?

The EZFind system works for low-tech losables, too. Have you ever lost your passport while traveling? Trust me -- it is a hassle to get a replacement. In the past, I have always recommended that my clients travel with a photocopy of their passport for just this reason. With EZFind's technology, you can tag your passport and scan the document into your online profile. If you lose it, you can log into your profile and get a copy immediately, or call EZFind and they can have one on a consulate desk in a matter of seconds.

What about making a police report? Do you remember the serial numbers of all of your "stuff" so the police can alert local pawn shops? Again, a quick log-in to your account or a call to EZFind's call center will have that information to you virtually instantly.

Just the facts

So, how does the service work? After you pay a one-time charge of $25, you will receive unique labels and tags to mark your property. You activate the tags online and then assign them to your items. At this point, you can upload photos of your property, input serial numbers, scan your passport, etc. When you discover a loss, you report it online (toll free or global collect) to the EZFind call center, where a real, live person (in the U.S.) will answer the call - huge selling point for me (are you listening, airlines?) Once your property has been recovered, EZFind will work to get it to you in the most expeditious manner -- usually without any cost to you. EZFind also rewards the honest folks who turn in your property with a free EZFind starter kit - again, at no cost to you. If your property is particularly valuable, you can even enter a reward of your own into your online profile.

The system is really simple and, as far as I'm concerned, a "must have" for travelers. Heck, it's a great tool for soccer moms and baseball dads, too. I am a huge fan of volunteering, and I sit on the board for my local Volunteer Center. So when I found out that EZFind offers fund-raising programs for schools and organizations, I liked them even more.

This column is not intended to be a sales pitch. I am just passing along some info on a new service I discovered and in which I find value. If $25 sounds like a bargain to you (as it did to me) go and buy a set of labels. If not, just file this in the back of your mind for later. I just finished activating my tags and putting the labels on our passports, cell phones, laptops, briefcases, key rings, suitcases and iPods. I was thinking about stickering the kids themselves, but then I figured that if I lost them, it could just be "Finders, keepers."

Now if EZFind would only come up with a way to find the countless hats and sunglasses that I have lost to the cause of travel. (Note: Vince Moro just sent me a dish of crow to eat: EZFind does have some sunglass labels. OK, so now what about the hats?)

If you would like to check out the program for free, we are sponsoring a contest on our Tripso forums. You can win a starter pack!

Traveler Comments That Make You Say, "Duh!"

I have been in the travel industry for over a decade. I have owned retail agencies and online agencies and have spent countless hours working with clients helping to plan that perfect trip. My recent column on "Become an Instant Travel Agent!" schemes brought out the fury of the multi-level marketing (MLM) crowd, who claim that most Internet-savvy consumers do not need the hand-holding and personal advice of a professional travel agent. I beg to differ. Below is a small sample of the many obtuse comments clients have made to me and my colleagues over the years. Certainly these folks should not be allowed to roam the Internet clicking at will.

David Letterman has his "Stupid Pet Tricks." I offer my version: 25 "Stupid Traveler Comments" (along with the bemused agents' unspoken responses).

• How can I leave Baltimore at 8:30 a.m. and get to Chicago at 8:35 a.m. when the flight takes an hour? (The plane flies really, really fast.)
• Do I need to carry on my carry-on bags or can I check them? (Why not check yourself and let the bags have the seat?)
• When am I going to receive my paper copy of the electronic ticket? (Uhm, what part of the word "electronic" has escaped you?)
• Well, how will they know who I am if all I have is my photo ID? (Uhm ... ma'am, you forget we have the TSA manning security now.)
• How much is a train to Jamaica? (We are sold out, but if you call Amtrak, they have space. Be sure to ask for a seat on the left side of the train so you don't miss the Lost City of Atlantis on the way down.)
• What language do they speak in England? (Swahili. Would you like to purchase our "Learn Swahili in 10 Easy Steps" manual?)
• The water is murky. I did not come to Jamaica to swim in murky water. (As I recall, a Category 4 hurricane just pelted the island and yet you insisted that you had to go. Right?)
• The hotel would have been fine but all the employees were speaking Spanish. (The next time you are in Mexico, we will order some French-speaking Mexicans for your convenience.)
• Does the water go all the way around this island? (Not on Tuesdays.)
• Is Canada still the largest state? (They seem to think so.)
• Is this a wide-body plane? (Yes.) Good, because my mother has a big butt. (I imagine this was followed by a swift upper cut.)
• Don't they take American Express? (No, in China they take only French francs, but we still need to get you a visa.)
• Why do I need to change clothes in Chicago? (Planes, ma'am. Planes. You change planes in Chicago.)
• Do these stairs go up? (Not this set, sir. The up stairs are on the lower level.)
• How do they get power to the ship? (Very long extension cords.)
• Do you know what time the midnight buffet starts? (They are cutting costs, so now it is offered between 4:30 a.m. and 4:35 a.m.)
• Does it rain in the rain forest? (Does a bear shi ... oh, never mind.)
• Will the 24-hour café be open if I need to get a bite at 6 a.m.? (Ask the woman in line for the midnight buffet.)
• Where is the best spot to watch the fireworks in London on the Fourth of July? (Come on, Yank. Just think about this for a nanosecond.)
• My friend told me about a great hotel in Italy and it begins with a "B." (I know exactly which one it is. Can I have your credit card please?)
• I am a vegetarian. Do they have vegetables in Kenya? (It is a strange thing in Africa, countries with two vowels in their names are vegetableless. It is just like some dry counties here in the United States.)
• I am an advanced beginner rider. (Would that be "beginning to be advanced," or "advanced for beginning"?)
• Please send a quote for a weeklong Costa Rica package with adventure in the jungle. (One helicopter drop coming up.)
• Do I need a passport to go to Hawaii? (No, just a clue.)
• If I convert $1,000 to the local currency, how much is it in U.S. dollars? (Sir, the Wharton School is on the line for you. They have an opening.)

A special thank you to my clients, my colleagues in the Tripso Forums , my favorite Royal Caribbean cruise director and Brenda Elwell of Maxim Tours for making my column an easy one to write.

Wanna Become An Instant Travel Agent? 12 Questions To Ask

BE A PART OF AMERICA'S FASTEST GROWING INDUSTRY

--Earn thousands of dollars a month -- from your home -- selling travel!!!!

You can find ads like that everywhere from the telephone pole on your corner to your grocery store bulletin board to your newspaper and PC.

While you may find these ads appealing, especially if you can't work outside your home, proceed with caution. Not all work-at-home opportunities deliver on their promises. As a matter of fact, most don't.

That's especially true in travel.

In the past, the "standard" get-rich-quick schemes involved stuffing envelopes, assembling crafts, or medical billing. But today, it seems that travel opportunities are fast climbing to the top of the list.

Three years ago, I wrote a column on travel scams and "Becoming A Travel Agent" was in the top five, Unfortunately, things have not changed.

Each month, I get 10 or 12 emails inviting me to participate in some new travel scheme. Very few, if any, are legitimate. Consumers deceived by these ads have lost thousands of dollars, in addition to their time and energy.

Some are "travel clubs" where you pay a membership fee for "discounted" travel, but I would like to focus on the new scourge of the industry -- the "Business Opportunity".

Most of these "opportunities" are nothing more than Multi Level Marketing (MLM) which, as an industry, has very few success stories. They are reminiscent of Pyramid and Ponzi schemes where only the initial investors will make any substantial money. They claim that you can become a "credentialed" travel agent as soon as the check clears the bank. They promise upgrades, discounted air, free travel, and discounted travel for your friends and family. They claim you will be selling travel and earning a slice of the worldwide $525 billion dollar pie. (World Tourism Organization, 2003)

In reality, most times, you are buying a sub-site on a larger Web site and pressured to recruit more travel agents under you. There is very little travel sold by these "instant" agents. When you go to one of these sites like YTB, the focus is on joining the ranks and reaping the benefits. Notice the small link to actually book travel? These travel requests are not handled by the "agent" but by a call center. So, the consumer is once again duped. You think you're working with an agent or someone you know, but in reality it's a minimally-trained, cubicle-dwelling, order taker in a call center.

On several occasions, on a public travel forum, an advocate of the MLM business has argued the validity of his business. To me, all of the points seemed very Jim Jones-eqsue. When asked about the professionalism of these so-called agents, the reply was, "Who cares if they are "professionals" -- people buy donuts from a donut shop".

On the "credentials", the reply was "Once the Affiliate Travel Agent or Platinum Travel Club Member creates the California minimum of $1,500 in travel sales, that person will receive our own official company issued Travel Seller ID Card that they may present to any travel vendor that will accept it." So, the credential is their own -- and not that of professional organizations such as IATA, ARC, OSSN, CLIA, ARTA, or any of the other recognized travel industry associations.

When asked about the benefits of being involved with a MLM scheme, the response was very typical of those that are falling hard for the pitch, "The best of all! Someone can become a Travel Agent instantly for anywhere from $99 a year to thousands of dollars -- just depends -- but -- indeed, they are instantly a travel agent. No tests -- no classes -- no internships - nothing but paying a fee. Then they just need to get the word out and start booking travel. In the meantime, while waiting for customers to arrive - they can access Fam Trips and show their ID Card to Disney World and get in free. They can get upgrades at 4 and 5 star hotels by showing their id card. The wonderful world of travel." Uhm, Mr. Jones, can I please have another glass of that purple Kool-Aid? As a legitimate travel agent and a consumer, I am not feeling too comfortable with this philosophy, are you?

Still not convinced? Take a look at this YouTube production from a pair of YTB travel agents. I am not rushing to the post office to mail them a check!

While travel certainly has some perks, most of them are going the way of the dinosaur. I am sure my pharmacist has some perks, but I don't see any "clubs" or "become a pharmacist" ads--maybe travel is an easy target. Maybe the MLM outfits feel there are more gullible people that have an interest. Most true professionals are in the business for the love of the business. Ask anyone who has been around for more than a few years.

While these schemes pop up all the time and disappear as quickly as they appear, two of the biggest current offenders are YTB (Your Travel Biz) and World Ventures. Apparently, there is another "club" with an "insta-agent" option launching in October called eTrips Network. (No links provided -- no need to feed the bottom feeders.)

All profess to offer wonderful discounts and perks that, in most instances will never materialize. In addition they claim to provide "identification" cards that will reap steep discounts on personal travel. I have yet to speak with someone that can convincingly verify any of their claims. As my mother has always said, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is." For more enlightenment, visit the website www.scam.com and do a search for "travel opportunities".

That is not to say that one can't earn a living selling travel from home. There are thousands out there that do it every single day. With the growth of online sales and the reduction in brick-and-mortar storefronts, many of these displaced agents have gone home. You can, too.

There are many legitimate "hosts" that will facilitate this and work with you to achieve your goals. They will not fill you with false promises and inflated numbers. They are interested in selling travel. They work with the suppliers to build their collective businesses and relationships. Yes, they take some money from you, but you need to review the programs and decide what is best for you.

Some of the reputable host agencies are America's Vacations Center, Magellan 360, Cruise Planners, Nexion, GTM Travel Group and Travel Planners International. But realistically, if you want to make any money in any industry, you must be willing to work at it. Period. If you want a good list of reputable companies to begin a career in travel, check out the list maintained by the industry trade publication Travel Trade.

12 Questions to ask before joining up for any travel
opportunity:

1. What is the initial fee?

2. What is my bottom-line monthly cost?

3. How often will I be paid?

4. What percentage of my sales do you retain?

5. How long have you been a host agency?

6. Can you give me five members to contact for a reference?

7. What professional affiliations do you hold as a host?

8. What training do you offer? In house? Online? Phone? Mail?

9. How long is the contract?

10. Do I actually sell travel?

11. Do I need my own insurance or am I covered under yours?

12. Will you put these claims in writing? This is the most important one.

You also might want to check out the company with your local consumer protection agency, state Attorney General and the Better Business Bureau, not only where the company is located, but also where you live. These organizations can tell you whether they have received complaints about the work-at-home program that interests you.

But be wary: the absence of complaints doesn't necessarily mean the company is legitimate. Unscrupulous companies may settle complaints, change their names or move to avoid detection. I know of one company that was a refrigeration company before becoming a travel company.

And to the naysayers out there, I challenge you. If you can prove the claims of the riches promised, I will publicly eat crow in a future column. Just email me some redacted documents -- bank statements, monthly commission checks, etc. Go on, I dare you. I double dog dare you! The ball is in your court.

But till then, my advice to the consumer and someone looking to get into this business can be summed up in one word: BEWARE!

Six Jeers For Six Flags

A few weeks ago, I snuck off from work and played hooky with my kids. We gathered up my girlfriend and her kids and headed straight for that icon of American summer fun: the amusement park. Fortunately, I live in Annapolis, Md., and a Six Flags theme park is literally around the corner. We did have a fun day. We left tired, sunburned, wet and poor -- all indicative of some fun, for sure. But this visit left me thinking.

Remember the old rivalry between the two rental car companies Hertz and Avis? Hertz was always crowing, "We're #1," while scrappy Avis told us, "We try harder." We loved Avis for that persistence; it kept us rooting for the little guy. Well, as I reflect on my day at Six Flags, I think that maybe they ought to heed Avis' advice and try a little harder.

Maybe it's not fair to compare Six Flags to the big kahuna, Disney's Magic Kingdom, but in many ways the parks are very similar. They both have Main Streets with shops and eateries that spread out before you when you walk in the gates. Both are laid out in a circular pattern. Both have added water parks in recent years, and while the rides at Six Flags are not of the caliber of those at Walt Disney World, both parks offer rides to thrill all ages. While Six Flags used to call its properties "amusement parks," now they are marketed as "theme parks" -- I suspect to keep up with the Disneys -- so I feel it is fair to compare the two operations.

1. Cost versus value

When I travel, I look at both price and value. There's a big difference -- don't fool yourself. With Disney, I know I am going to pay a hefty price, but I also know I am going to get value for that investment. When I discovered that Six Flags cost nearly the same as Disney, I expected the value to be close, too. Not the same experience, to be sure -- after all, no one seems to do it like Disney -- but close. Without any discounts or coupons, it costs only $17 more to walk into the Magic Kingdom ($67 admission) than into the Six Flags in Bowie, Md. ($50 admission). That gap narrows to $12 when you figure that it costs $5 more to park at Six Flags. But any similarity between these two theme parks ends at the price of admission.

2. Food service

The food at Six Flags was mediocre (that's also true at Disney), but it was the service that really hit the floor. The lines were long almost everywhere we went. The concept of a "lunch rush" was lost on the employees, as we waited nearly 20 minutes for burgers at noon (and these were pre-wrapped burgers, folks, not cooked to order on the grill). To save some money, we purchased a "free refill souvenir cup" for $18 that apparently had some fine print somewhere that indicated that refills were free -- but only after you paid an additional $2 to refill it! Plus, it was valid only at certain locations -- not "all over" as the sign indicated. Truth in advertising?

3. Cleanliness

The park was not really clean. Trash cans were overflowing. The tables at the restaurants were not wiped down and sometimes they were not even cleared (and I do not blame the employees for this -- some customers can be pigs). There were piles of cardboard boxes throughout the park; they had once held stuffed animals and other arcade prizes, but now they were just lying around empty. It seems no one cared about the mess. Or maybe they were waiting for Tinkerbell to come in after the park closed and clean it all up.

4. The rides

The rides were good. While certainly not on the scale of Disney, they thrilled everyone in our group. Even I, the wimp (as my kids like to say), ventured on several thrill rides and roller coasters. I even got front spot on the Superman roller coaster which all of my kids wimped out on themselves! But I passed on the bungee jumping ride. If I am going to die bungee jumping, it is going to be someplace a little more exotic than on the concrete at Six Flags, Bowie. The ride operators all seemed bored. Well, OK, it is probably boring work, but it is also is your job, so perk up for heaven's sake.

5. The attitude

I'll admit that the weather was warm -- not terribly gross like some Maryland summer days can be, but warm. Maybe that accounts for the slow-motion service at the lunch counter and the apathetic assistance from the ride operators, but it seemed the staff couldn't possibly move any slower. Nothing moved at any type of speed except the rides themselves. These employees are the face of Six Flags and they are what people remember when they go home for the night. If you are in a people business, you need to hire people who actually like people -- or at least put on a convincing act.

6. Security and safety

Now, let's talk about security and safety. As we walked through the front gates at Six Flags, we had to pass through a gauntlet of security measures, including uniformed guards and metal detectors -- an unfortunate sign of the times in which we live. But inside the park, I saw very little security presence. Maybe that's a good thing in an air marshal kind of way; you never see those guys, either, but you know they're there. Somehow, I don't think that's the case here.

For example, after lunch we discovered an unattended backpack left near a bench. I found a security guard and mentioned it to him. Now, at an airport that unattended backpack would be considered a "suspicious package." Within minutes, the airport would be evacuated, the national threat level would be raised to fuchsia, and some kid's Pokemon collection would be blown to smithereens by an overzealous tech on the bomb squad. Not at Six Flags. When I looped around again in an hour, the backpack was still sitting there. Apparently the guard thought that was the best place for it.

A more glaring lapse in security came as our day was coming to an end. While in line for the Mind Eraser ride, I noticed that a section of railing 6 feet long had fallen from the walkway. The drop was nearly 40 feet to the ground, where there were several concrete foundations. The remains of the railing were lying face up with nails protruding. This was a gaping hole in the walkway just asking for a small child to fall through. I immediately reported the situation to the ride attendant and he brushed me off. I then reported it to a security guard, who told me to go tell guest services to have maintenance come take a look at it. When I went to guest services, the workers were not interested in seeing the photo I had taken of the railing; they just filled out a maintenance request. Considering that a 13-year-old girl had had her legs severed on a ride at another Six Flags park just the day before, I thought there might be a more proactive approach here. Here are my photos if you care to take a look.

I debated about whether to write this column. I really did. My ex-wife says I'm being too critical because there is a difference between an "amusement park" and a "theme park." But then why is Six Flags marketing itself as a theme park? And why isn't the lesser expectation reflected in the price? Maybe companies that are sitting at number two or number three become complacent. Maybe they think their product is "good enough." Maybe they just don't see their product though the eyes of a guest. Maybe some of the travel critics are too nice (or too scared) to write a less-than-glowing review.

Before I put my "The End" on this column, I sought out management at Six Flags America to see if they could defend, explain or refute my experiences. I sent them an e-mail and followed up with a phone message -- neither was returned.

Please don't get me wrong, we did have a good time and we will likely go back. I am an eternal optimist, and would like to believe this trip was an anomaly. But when we return, it will be with the expectation that the value is not there -- though maybe the value lies in the convenience.

It seems to me that Six Flags might do well to take a lesson from the Avis playbook: Try harder. Come on Six Flags, surprise me!

What do you think? Is my ex-wife right? Am I overly critical? Or am I right on the mark? Send me an e-mail or post a comment below.

Hurricane Hangover: 10 Cures From New Orleans

Can you believe it is nearly two years since Hurricane Katrina ravaged the shores of our Gulf Coast? This year is predicted to be an active hurricane season, too -- but then again, so was last year. Sometimes I wonder if the qualifications for weather forecaster and craps shooter are the same. But I digress. Rather than predicting the future, let's look at the present and see what is happening down in New Orleans.

If you read this column regularly, you know that I have a fetish for New Orleans. I'm pretty much president of the Boosters Club. It is a city so full of life and vigor that every other city pales by comparison. Even after the battering it took in the hurricane -- and contrary to a lot of media claims -- the city retains it essential charm: It is a vibrant, saucy, flower-scented, jazz-inflected city of dreams and no tourist should miss it.

But sadly, tourists have been slow to return to New Orleans. Discouraged by the slow recovery and exaggerated crime rates, tourists think about visiting and then decide, "Maybe next year." And that's too bad, because tourism is to New Orleans what oxygen is to you or me. Oxygen allows us to breathe easy; in fact, it gives us life. Right now, New Orleans is still breathing, but without its beloved tourists, it is a city with an asthma problem.

The New Orleans Convention & Visitors Bureau (CVB) is turning tourism around with a national media tour that began in New York in April and recently stopped in Chicago. The tour features one of the city's most enduring icons -- a streetcar from the St. Charles Streetcar Line, which is on the National Register of Historic Places. During its tour of major U.S. cities, the streetcar will serve as a mobile tourism office and billboard for the Crescent City. Passers-by can book travel to New Orleans, learn about the city's major attractions from CVB representatives, and have their picture taken in the driver's seat of the streetcar. The message is simple: "We're back, and we want you to come and see us."

Over the past year, literally hundreds of people have asked me about New Orleans. The first question is usually, "Is it safe to visit the city?" The answer is a resounding yes, but I also urge common sense. The good news: While certain outlying areas are still reeling from the damage, most tourist areas are up and running, and while there is crime in the city, it is typically not in the areas you would be visiting. The caution: New Orleans is a major city and you can find trouble there the same way you can in my hometown of Annapolis, on a cruise ship, or at a fancy resort in the Caribbean. Use your common sense everywhere you travel -- to New Orleans or to your grocery store.

So, what's alive and kicking in New Orleans? The music, the nightlife and the attractions that made New Orleans famous are better than ever. The family-owned and star-chef restaurants are up and running. And a post-Katrina influx of entrepreneurs and investors who see the city as a frontier for new economic opportunities are beginning to make their mark with refurbished buildings, new businesses, and yes, even a new restaurant or two.

So, why not sweat off some pounds in New Orleans this summer? Yes, it is hot and humid, but I have to say there is something wonderful about sweltering beside the Mississippi in this unique town. And besides, there's always air conditioning!

Check out these 10 "Sizzlin' Summer Deals" at some of New Orleans' hotels. There is a package for every budget and they all offer some special amenities. If you want more details, e-mail me or contact the hotel directly.

Chateau Sonesta Hotel
800 Iberville St., New Orleans, LA 70112; 504-586-0800
"French Quarter Forever" package, with rates starting at $89 per night

Harrah's New Orleans Casino & Hotel
228 Poydras St., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-533-6522
"Dusk 'til Dawn" package, with rates starting at $199 per night

Hilton Garden Inn New Orleans Convention Center
1001 So. Peters St., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-525-0044
"Sizzlin' Southern Summer Special" package with a rate of $89 per night

Hilton New Orleans Riverside
2 Poydras St., New Orleans, LA 70140; 504-561-0500
"Summer Special" deal: buy two nights, get one free

Hotel Monteleone
214 Royal St., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-523-3341
"Suite Summer Deals" package, with suites from $169, guest rooms at $109

InterContinental New Orleans
444 St. Charles Ave., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-525-5566
"It's a Gas Giveaway" package with rates starting at $129 per room, per night; includes a free gas card valued at $40 and free hotel valet parking

Loews New Orleans Hotel
300 Poydras St., 70130, New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-595-3300
Summer rates start at $149 per night; book online and receive a one-year subscription to Travel + Leisure magazine and Travel + Leisure Family magazine.

The Ritz-Carlton New Orleans
921 Canal St., New Orleans, LA 70112; 504-524-1331
"Crescent City Comeback" package is $1,100 a night, with a minimum two-night stay. (Don't fall off your chair. The Ritz has pulled out all the stops for this. E-mail me for more details.)

Windsor Court Hotel
300 Gravier St., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-523-6000
"Summer Escape" rates are from $129

Royal Sonesta Hotel
300 Bourbon St., New Orleans, LA 70130; 504-586-0300
"French Quarter Romance" package is $275 per person/double occupancy

For more summer vacation deals, visit the New Orleans Convention & Visitors Bureau or call your local travel agent. And if you are interested in a little more than R&R, please consider offering some real sweat equity and take a "voluntour" to New Orleans. The New Orleans Convention & Visitors Bureau hosts a page on its site that lists opportunities to help New Orleans rebuild and recover. Check it out.

I was in New Orleans shortly after Katrina, and have been there at least six times since, most recently for Mardi Gras in February. I have seen the progress in the tourist areas and in the outskirts, and it is encouraging. Maybe it's time for you to take a look as well. Visit my online photos of the city before and after Katrina.

There! Now there is no excuse. Chicago survived the fire in 1871. San Francisco rebuilt after the earthquake of 1906. We did not desert Miami after Hurricane Andrew in 1992. Nor have we turned out backs on the small town of Greensburg, Kan., after tornadoes all but obliterated the town in May of this year. New Orleans deserves the same!

Do you agree? Or disagree? E-mail me or post a comment below.

Hey, I'm Not THAT Old...Yet!

OK, now I am ticked off. Last week I received a solicitation in the mail to join AARP. Yes, that AARP! The American Association of Retired Persons. Sure, I have the silver hair, and my kids think I am ancient, but believe me, the only way I'm going to enter their little club is kicking and screaming every step of the way.

But indignation did not stop me from perusing the AARP flier and checking out the benefits of being what I prefer to call "maturely young" (or, as my girlfriend's mother says: "an immature 45"). Actually, AARP membership is a pretty good deal, and that got me thinking about travel perks for seniors. My travel agency has a good number of senior clients, and I've noticed that more and more suppliers are courting the senior market with everything from airline and hotel packages to discounts on rental cars and area attractions. And why not? Seniors are good guests. They have money, they behave well, and they will tell their friends when they have a good time. Which makes me wonder, then: Why would they want me? I rarely behave, never have any money, and tend to keep my mouth shut (I learned my lesson once).

I strongly recommend that seniors work with a qualified travel agent. Most agents will have access to senior specials or "state of residence" specials available to you. Sure, go to the Web and hunt for deals, but before you commit, check with your agent. If he can't get you a better deal, you've lost nothing but a phone call. If you don't have an agent, contact the American Society of Travel Agents (ASTA), which can refer you to some qualified senior travel specialists.

Here are some tips for getting the best senior deal.

Ask for senior info

A good deal probably won't fall in your lap all by itself. Ask. Ask about a senior rate and at what age it takes effect. Some travel suppliers offer discounts for the over-55 set, while others require you to be 65 or older. United Airlines offers a club for passengers 55 and older. For $240 annually, members receive discounted fares, double miles and discounts on participating hotels and area attractions. Alaska Airlines and Air Jamaica have also been known to offer reduced rates for seniors. With a deal on airfares, that tropical or Alaska vacation that you've been pining for needn't deplete your savings.

Another way to ask about senior travel bargains is to visit online forums. There are specialty forums out there like AARP's Senior Travel Forums and more general ones like our own Tripso forums that can answer almost any question you have. They are usually free, and very worthwhile.

Get a senior card

Many hotels, airlines and rental car agencies honor AARP's membership card, and it can save you hundreds of dollars while you are vacationing. The annual fee for the card is $12.50, and the AARP Web site provides you with information on where you can use it. The only requirement to join is that you be over the age of 50.

Another card that can save you money is a AAA (American Automobile Association) card, and you don't have to be a senior to get it. Once you sign up, you will receive a monthly magazine that will give you ideas on how to make the most of your membership. AAA also has travel agencies nationwide that can help you get senior discounts.

If you are a grandparent, check out the Disney Rewards Visa Card from Chase. It's a rewards credit card that can help you out with a trip to Disney with the grandkids. If you are already planning to take the grandkids to Disney, here is a good article to read before you go.

Some good finds

Train and bus companies also extend savings to senior travelers. Greyhound and Amtrak offer fares that are 10 percent to 15 percent less than the published fare. To qualify for Greyhound or Amtrak's senior rate, you must be over 62.

Many hotels also offer senior rates, with or without an AARP membership. Marriott offers senior travelers 15 percent off the usual rate, and the discount is honored at more than 2,000 hotels worldwide. Marriott has beautiful resorts throughout the Caribbean and Europe. Just show your ID -- my fake one is on the way!

Choice Hotels offers a program called "Mature Travelers" for vacationers over 50. With this rate, you will save 10 percent on hotels like Clarion, Cambria Suites and Comfort Inn. For seniors over 60, a 20 percent to 30 percent discount is applied when you make reservations in advance. This rate is honored at most U.S. locations.

Rental car agencies are looking for seniors' business as well. Budget and Enterprise Rent-A-Car are two agencies worth checking out. Depending on the location and type of vehicle, these companies may offer discounts from 5 percent to 15 percent. With these savings, you can upgrade to that convertible you've always wanted and cruise down the Pacific Coast Highway.

When you arrive at your destination, be sure to check for senior rates at museums, amusement parks, golf courses and other attractions. The admission may be only a couple of dollars less, but those few dollars can add up. Even McDonald's has a senior rate for a cup of coffee!

Your hotel concierge can be a big help in identifying local discounts, so be sure to stop by the front desk for a chat.

One caveat

Senior discounts are great, but they may not be the best deal out there. For example, AAA rates are often lower than AARP rates, and individual hotels may offer a more attractive rate than the chainwide rate. This goes back to point one: Ask. And if you have a trusted travel agent working for you, double check with him before booking a discount rate. Agents know the rates and can help you maximize your dollar.

Every traveler wishes to have a great vacation without breaking the bank. Now, as a senior, you can have a better trip by spending more on the things you enjoy and less on travel expenses.

NOTE: Murphy and his law are in full force. Just after this column appeared, I received a release from United Airlines that they will be discontinuing their Silver Wings program for seniors effective July 1, 2007. My apologies to my readers and a big "boo hiss" to United. JWF 6/22/07

Oh No! Is It Summer Already?

Procrastination seems to be my middle name. Late last week, I got the dreaded e-mail from my editor reminding me that I was once again past deadline for one of my Tripso columns. This one, in fact. So after I lied to her ("It's almost done!"), I sat down and put pen to paper only to realize that not only had I procrastinated writing the column, I also hadn't I figured out what to do with my three kids for a summer vacation. In the interest of killing two birds with one stone, I did some research on summer vacations for the column. That's when I made an amazing discovery. When it comes to travel planning, procrastination can sometimes pay off.

Being a middle-aged single dad isn't all that bad, but traveling with three kids ages 10 to 15 is challenging. A vacation with one or two of them usually goes smoothly, but juggling three can be a chore. To say nothing of money. I already have a fall trip planned for us with Adventures by Disney, so funds are a little tight. Looking for a bargain, I returned to one of my favorite resources, Single Parent Travel, and sure enough, in addition to the staff's wonderful tips and advice, I found a couple of late-summer trips that appealed to me, my kids and my wallet.

One of the best things about Single Parent's programs is that the company negotiates with the suppliers to reduce or waive the penalty for not having two adults on the trip. On other vacations, my son will be counted as the second adult (trust me, he's not that mature) and be charged accordingly even though he doesn't want to drink, smoke, gamble, golf or take a "Yoga for Seniors" class. The two trips that Single Parent Travel offers in August are all-inclusive (no surprise bills when you get home), in the Caribbean (all of us like some fun in the sun), and take place during hurricane season (oh well, two out of three ain't bad -- and besides, there is always travel insurance.

Single Parent Travel: Beaches Boscobel Resort and Golf Club, Boscobel, Jamaica. I have been to this resort before and it is a lot of fun. Rumor has it that it was one of the original Playboy Clubs back in the day, and if it's good enough for Hef, it's good enough for me. The resort's idea of "all-inclusive" is almost literally all-inclusive: activities, entertainment, meals, drinks, booze, snacks, water sports, golf, scuba, pools, etc. are all included. It is very easy to leave with a bill that has a big fat zero at the bottom. The extras are personal purchases, spa treatments and any off-site excursions; otherwise, from the time you step off the plane to the time you get back on, it's all there for you.

Single Parent Tours adds a bit to the package. First off, they have the lowest price out there. Secondly, they cater to single parents, creating a group with a lot in common (and it's nice not to feel like a fifth wheel for a change). Third, they have some fun events planned, including a welcome cocktail party and reception, contests and games. Group members are identified by a red tattoo on their foreheads (kidding -- just checking if you are still with me; in fact, they are identified by a bead necklace) so you can seek out other single-parent families if you are looking for some group fun. Seems like there is plenty of together time for family bonding as well as adult and kid time apart -- the best of both worlds. As a bonus, everyone gets a signed copy of "The Single Parent Travel Handbook." I own this book, which was written by noted single parent, world traveler and travel expert Brenda Elwell, and it is an invaluable resource.

This trip is offered just once, from August 18 to August 25, but your stay can be shortened or extended if you like. Prices begin at $1,764 (for one adult and one child for the week), and that includes it all -- taxes and everything. Airfare is additional. For more info, check out the Web site or give them a ring at 888-2-SPT-KIDS (888-277-8543). The pricing is actually lower than is shown on the site and it looks like a bargain to me! A perfect end to summer and a great start for school.

Single Parent Travel: Beaches Turks & Caicos Resort and Spa, Providenciales, Grand Turk. Like Boscobel, this resort is all-inclusive. I have been to this property as well, and it is a water wonderland. Pristine beaches and a fantastic kids' water park are two of the highlights of the resort, which is larger than Boscobel, and features five pools, 10 restaurants, 12 bars and one kick-butt kids' water park. The Single Parent Tours amenities are the same as at Boscobel -- tattoo and all (still with me?).

This trip is more expensive, with a room for a week beginning at $2,389 for a parent and child, because the deluxe rooms have already sold out. But the premium rooms have a private balcony or patio and they are a bit larger than the deluxe rooms, which is probably a good idea for a weeklong stay with the kids. Airfare is extra. Again, the best bet is to give Single Parent Travel a call at 888-2-SPT-KIDS (888-277-8543) to check on availability and pricing.

Well, there you have it: two fabulous choices for a last-minute summer getaway for a single dad, three kids and a happy wallet. I know I will be there; I'm just trying to decide between the two.

Jamaica or Turks? ... Jamaica or Turks? Do you have a preference? Have you been to these resorts? Shoot me an e-mail and help me decide.

Thou Shalt Not Travel Like An Idiot

Remember when you were a kid and all your friends would throw you down on the ground and begin to beat you till you cried "Uncle!"? Well, apparently I am reliving my youth, and you heard it here first: Uncle!

In my last column, I suggested that there were Twelve Commandments of Travel that Moses seems to have lost as he came down the mountain. I made the mistake of asking if my readers had suggestions for more. Apparently, I struck a nerve. It seems everyone has an opinion about how travel should be conducted.

Here is a sampling of the 1,854 e-mails I have received to date from some of our readers and in the Tripso Forums.

Thou shalt be flexible when the original plans go awry. There is always an alternative that is just as much fun, if not more. Seek and ye shall find! -- Jeanie M. Schneider

Thou shalt not pretend to be an expert on the culture when you have only been in the country for five days. -- Amanda Branch, Iowa

Thou shalt have thy shoes, metal objects, travel baggies of liquids and gels, and thy laptop out and ready to go through the detector before it is thy turn in line! -- Bart Parker

Thou shalt remember it's not just your vacation. Be respectful of the rights of others and everyone will be able to enjoy their trip more. You're all probably going to the same place, and you'll all arrive or get checked in around the same time. -- Chris

Thou shalt not complain that the local cuisine is "not like home." If you are not open to local cuisine, seek out the local McDonald's and stick with it. -- Mary Lowe

Select wisely who you travel with; a friend at home may not enjoy the same "freedom" you feel when you travel. -- Judy D. Watson, Georgia

Because something is old and falling apart does not mean that you can take a piece home or destroy it more. It has been there for a few thousand years and could probably last a few thousand more with care. -- Jerry Lang

Thou shalt not criticize or disparage another country's culture. If they don't eat the meat of the cow, there's a reason for that. Find out what it is and learn to understand why. -- Claudette Sortino, Vermont

Thou shalt remember that although you can preview all the wonderful sites you hope to see on your vacation in mere minutes by scanning the pictures in the travel brochure, the reality of getting to each one of them could entail a full day on a crowded tour bus. Sightseeing can be hard work. Do your homework and don't blame others because the world is a big place. -- James S. Taylor, Portugal

When traveling on a public conveyance, thou shalt bathe first, in soap and water, and not rinse the soap off with cologne. -- Anonymous

Thou shalt not be an "Ugly American" and will be courteous, polite and respectful of the countries, cultures and landmarks that you visit (e.g., do not scream conversations across Notre Dame Cathedral to your tour mates!). Represent our country well. --Anonymous

Thou shalt understand that European hotel rooms are usually smaller than American standard hotel rooms before you travel there. Managed expectations will reduce your stress and that of the poor hotel clerks. -- Anonymous

Thou shalt understand currency exchange rates before traveling to your destination else you may be ripped off or spend unknowingly. -- John Fox

Thou shalt not molest my seat on an airplane for no reason. Thou shalt not lean on it, pull on it, kick it, rest thy knees on it, etc. -- Anonymous

Thou shalt not speak English abroad expecting the locals to not understand you. Most of them can. -- Anonymous

Thou shalt not complain if thou art a budget traveler and paying only $10 a night for a bed, Internet and breakfast. There isn't much room for complaints there, is there? -- Anonymous

Thou shalt understand that haggling isn't accepted everywhere that English isn't spoken. Many people find it rude. -- Anonymous

Thou shalt not assume that those in your tour group exist simply to take pictures of you and your family in front of every freakin' tree along the way. It makes others miss the scenery and new knowledge learned from actually listening to the tour guide instead of looking for your next photo-op. -- Jules, Utah

Thou shall not get rudely upset at the hotel staff or anyone else on vacation when you forgot your specific things that you cannot do without and it is at a time when everything is closed. -- An Anonymous Concierge

Thou shalt not rely totally on your guidebook to tell you when your favorite tour or event is being held, or what the hours and fees are at the museum that you traveled all the way from wherever to visit. In my experience, at least 20 percent of information in guidebooks is incorrect. Always confirm, and don't insist to the hospitality workers that this museum must be open or that the tour must take place because it said so in the guidebook! -- April Lippert (another concierge)

Thou shalt not whine when you visit a local restaurant in Germany and your food selections are different than at your local restaurant in Texas. You travel for the adventure and experience. If you want the same experience as you have at home, stay home. -- Ann Lohmeier

Thou shall not purchase a 3-star trip, then demand 5-star accommodations and service. You should and will get what you paid for. Accept this reality or pay the big prices. -- James S. Taylor

And I had to save the best for last. The following comes from Gail De George of the Roaring River Resort in scenic southwest Missouri. All I can say is, "Who knew?"

Thou shalt remember that the hotel/motel housekeepers are just that, hotel/motel housekeepers. They are not your personal servants and their job of cleaning the room after you leave does not give you the right to turn the clean room they left for you when you arrived into a pigsty by the time you leave.

If thy room is going to be serviced by hotel/motel housekeeping in your absence, please store your sex toys before you leave. The housekeepers neither need nor want to know that much about you.

Leave thine illegal drugs at home. Hotel/motel staff don't need to be dealing with that kind of problem, either.

Now here is the time when I am supposed to ask for more of your commandments, but since I have 1,829 yet to publish, I think I will take a pass!