10 Cruise Etiquette Tips

Recently, I had the pleasure of sailing on the world’s largest ship: Royal Caribbean International’s Freedom of the Seas. It was a fantastic week which was exactly what the doctor ordered for some rest and relaxation for my family at the end of a hectic summer. But after witnessing the behavior of some of the passengers, I had to wonder if they saw the cruise as an opportunity to be rude and obnoxious. If Emily Post were not already dead, those louts and bounders would certainly have sent her to her grave!

Let us forswear the role of Ugly American and start to mind our manners. These 10 tips were developed after a week on the high seas, but they are equally applicable to a land-based vacation or business trip. Read them and resolve to restore some civility to the art of travel.

1. Don’t expect perfection. With today’s ships carrying three and four thousand people at a time, trust me, the experience is not going to be perfect for everyone. Your toilet may clog. The handle may fall off the sliding door. Your table mates may sometimes be rude (my own children come to mind). Have a good attitude and your cruise will go a lot more smoothly.

2. Get some exercise. Fact: The elevators are going to be crowded around dinner and show times. A bunch of crabby people waiting for the elevators will only stir each other up even more; I saw it happen time and again. If you are physically able, why not walk off that crème brûlée and take the stairs — or maybe do a lap on the Promenade Deck.

3. Shut up. It is not necessary to slam your cabin door each time you enter and exit the cabin, and it is rude to do so at 3 a.m.(some passengers actually sleep — at night! — on a cruise). Close the door slowly and preserve some of the peace. Never been on a cruise? There are probably a hundred cabins within earshot of each slammed door.

4. Practice moderation. OK, it’s your vacation: Have fun and party on. But know your limits. No one likes a sloppy drunk, and the last thing you want to do is spend a night in the medical facility because you planted your ass through the glass coffee table. No one will convince me that excessive drinking is not a huge factor in all the recent “crimes” at sea.

5. Be discreet. Aboard ship, we are all equals. I don’t need to see your Rolex watch, or that 10-carat diamond. No need to flash a wad of cash in the casino either. For one thing, you could be asking for trouble; for another (listen carefully): No one really cares! And another thing, while the ship is your home away from home, it isn’t actually your home, so if you feel the need to wander the hallways, please do so wearing street clothes not your curlers and nightie — or less!

6. Remember that you are a world traveler. You may hear others speaking a different or unfamiliar language. (No, it is not a foreign language; it may be foreign to you, but it is not foreign to millions of perfectly competent speakers). If an announcement needs to be made, it will likely be made in several languages; after all, people who speak a language other than yours have the same right to safety and information as you do. Do not demand that people accommodate you. It is all about compromise.

7. Be a good audience member. If you are tired, don’t sit in the front row. How demeaning is it to a performer who is giving his or her all to look out and see an audience member nodding off mid-performance? Now imagine the reaction if there is also a line of drool dribbling from the corner of your mouth. Not a pretty sight, although the photograph I took is a good conversation piece!

8. Stop whining. If something has gone wrong or you are unhappy, there is no need to drag a few thousand other people into your mess. There is a simple solution: Ask management to correct the problem. Whining just brings everyone down and — who knows? — your expectations may be way out of line. And another thing: There’s not much anyone can do about a cloudy day.

9. Dress for public view. If you wouldn’t walk into Wal-Mart wearing short shorts and a tube top, you probably shouldn’t wear them on vacation, either. Same with a thong. People come in all shapes and sizes, but most of us are not looking to become acquainted with your every bulge and curve.

10. Be generous. Tip. Our waitress on the Freedom of the Seas is paid $50 a month. Yes, you read that correctly! The rest of her income comes from gratuities. To the family in the cabins across from me: I heard you all making plans to order room service for 16 on the last night of the cruise so you could avoid having to tip in the dining room. Shame on you!

Fortunately, rude passengers were a minority on this cruise. Freedom of the Seas is a beautiful ship, and Royal Caribbean offers wonderful cruises for travelers of all ages — I’ll have more on that in a few weeks. For now I will step off my soapbox (endless ranting isn’t polite either, even for a good cause).

But I will ask you: What peeves you on your vacation? Drop me a line and let me know.

All-Inclusive: What does It Mean?

When is an all-inclusive vacation really all-inclusive?

That’s a question that comes up often when travelers consider whether to book a resort vacation or a cruise vacation. So often, in fact, that it makes me wonder if there really is such a thing as an all-inclusive vacation anymore. And if not, which one is more inclusive: the cruise or the resort?

It’s important to know what you’re getting from your “all-inclusive” deal, whether it’s on land or at sea. If you fail to research the product properly, you could end up on a trip from hell with a credit card bill to match. There’s no need for that to happen, so listen up.

Cruises are rarely all-inclusive.

Most cruise lines include your cabin, your meals and your onboard entertainment in the published fare. But if you’re not careful, the bill that is discreetly slipped under your door on your last night at sea just might make you want to jump ship.

On most cruises you can expect to pay extra for beverages (not just alcohol, but also soda), all shore excursions, any meals in the “specialty” restaurants, onboard purchases, gambling (never charge gambling to your stateroom unless you want a hefty surcharge), maybe ice cream at the Häagen-Dazs shop, your burger at Johnny Rockets, your internet access, your telephone calls and, of course, your tips.

For a family of four, you can easily add $1,000 to your “all-inclusive” cruise fare. When you board, you will usually be required to put a credit card on file for those charges. For those who don’t use credit cards, or don’t want to give their credit card number to the ship, many ships now require cash deposits of $200 per day; any refunds due at the end of the cruise will be paid by check when you disembark, so save some money for the cab fare home.

As long as your travel professional (or professional Web site) has made you aware of the additional costs, you will have a great time enjoying the experience that only cruising can offer. Unlike any land-based vacation, a cruise will take you to many different places — five or six ports of call during a week at sea. While the port stays tend to be short, cruising is a good way to get the flavor of a region — perhaps as a prelude for a future land-based visit. Ships currently sail in all seven oceans and while the Caribbean may be the most popular, cruising can be also be a great way to see the South Pacific. If the warm sand is not calling, cruising Europe can save you a bundle. Take advantage of the weak dollar and book your “mostly-inclusive” vacation with your U.S. dollars (save the splurge for that fabulous restaurant in Monte Carlo or Barcelona).

All-inclusive resorts are a relatively new phenomenon, and they are limited mostly to the Caribbean and Mexico. Here, for one upfront price, your vacation does indeed include virtually everything, including all your drinks, ice cream, water sports, diving, and yes, even golf if it is available.

If you are a finicky drinker, be sure to check whether the program includes premium alcohol; a lot of resorts include only the local hooch. Of course, any personal purchases and gambling are on you. You will be required to put a credit card on file for your incidentals, but it is very easy to walk away without any charges. Your personal expenses will be a bargain in the Caribbean and Mexico, anyway, due to the strong dollar in those areas.

Now that your expenses are in check, be sure the all-inclusive resort lifestyle is for you. Most all-inclusive vacationers are content to remain on the resort property just basking in the sun, one umbrella over their head and another in their drink. The resorts generally do offer side trips to local attractions for guests who get antsy; the prices for these are comparable to what you would pay for a shore excursion offered by a cruise line.

As on a cruise ship, the food at an all-inclusive resort will be plentiful and varied in the main dining area. Most resorts will have several themed restaurants for you to try out as well; these restaurants generally require a reservation and have a dress code, but they are available at no additional charge.

Cruise or resort? It’s up to you. But as you plan your “all-inclusive” vacation, you need to keep one more thing in mind: Many destinations are very affordable once you get there, but the cost of getting there is sky high. So choose your resort or cruise carefully. Cancun and Jamaica (the epicenters of all-inclusive resorts) offer affordable airfare worldwide, and many cruise lines now sail from embarkation cities all up and down the U.S. coast: Baltimore, Norfolk, Philadelphia, New York, New Orleans, Galveston, Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. If you don’t know all about air routes and cruise ports, talk to a travel agent.

With some research and a better understanding of what “all-inclusive” means, you can get control of your vacation costs. That way you’ll know what you’re paying for, and you’ll come home relaxed and refreshed — not broke.

5 Great Travel Websites

Buying travel used to be so simple. You called your travel agent and he made the arrangements for you. The Internet changed all that. There are thousands of good travel Web sites out there, but here are my current picks: three outstanding long-timers and one up-and-comer worth a mention. Oh, OK, full disclosure: One of the up-and-comers is mine.

SeatGuru. Do you think that all airplane seats are created equal? Well, they’re not! SeatGuru is an database of virtually every airline seat in the skies — “The Bible of Seat Pitch,” if you will. All you need to know is your airline and the type of aircraft you are flying, and SeatGuru will tell all. Find out which seats recline a bit more, have more legroom, have armrests that will raise — even which ones have a power port to power your laptop or iPod. More importantly, SeatGuru will tell you the seats to avoid. As a professional travel agent, I rely on this site a lot. The interface is simple to read and the site has recently added a listing of such in-flight amenities as audio, beverage services, bassinettes and changing tables.

FlyerTalk. If you spend more than a few hours in the skies over the course of a year, FlyerTalk is a community you need to visit. This huge bulletin board allows its 111,000 frequent-flying members to discuss everything from the best airport restaurants to who has seen Air Force One. A big reason for this site’s success is the interaction between members trying to maximize their frequent-flier miles and loyalty points. Are you looking for a promotion that might bump you up a rank to Chairman’s Preferred? How about a special routing to earn triple points? You won’t have to look far. While it may seem a bit daunting at first, the site has a wealth of information and a fantastic New User Guide that will help you navigate the skies.

1Trip3. 1Trip3 is a new site for the leisure traveler that is scheduled to come online very soon. While your travel agent is no doubt very knowledgeable, your needs may exceed his reach. Would you schedule your appendectomy with your ophthalmologist? No? Then why is your cruise specialist arranging your African safari? 1Trip3 addresses this problem by connecting agent specialists with travelers. Agents register with their specialty and then take turns fielding travelers’ requests. Each request is sent to three qualified agents; the traveler decides which agent — if any — to work with. There is no cost to the traveler, who gets “special handling” for free.

Travels With Fred. This is my site, and it is targeted to experienced travelers with some miles on them, folks who are Internet-savvy and people who believe, as I do, that travel is just plain fun. Are you a master mouser, confident enough in your Web sleuthing to book your own trip? Travels With Fred may be the site for you. But what if you’re not sure you’re ready to book it alone? Travels With Fred may be the site for you, too, because at any point in the research or booking process, a flesh-and-bones travel agent is available to help you — at no charge. Need a simple recommendation? Send an instant message to Fred. Need something more complex? Meet one of Fred’s agents face to face in your local Starbucks. If nothing else, take advantage of the complimentary destination guides that the site will send you by e-mail. They are a wealth of information and will go a long way to help you plan your next trip.

Tripso. Of course, the best is saved for last. Tripso is a wonderful site that grabs the travel industry by the horns and attacks from all angles. In addition to Christopher Elliott, the famed travel troubleshooter, the site offers frank commentary from every side of the industry: flight crew, travel agent, cruise expert, road tripper, security and safety, loyalty and luxury travel, not to mention bargains and destinations. Come fall, Tripso will have the hotel industry covered, too. Need to keep up on the travel news? Tripso publishes a daily newsletter highlighting the day’s news as it affects travelers. There is a weekend edition, as well. If you are looking for a community of active travelers and travel agents, check out Tripso’s forums, where you’ll get the frank and honest answers you deserve. Admittedly, I am biased, but I do believe Tripso is “The Last Honest Travel Site”!

Do you know of another essential travel site? Let me know and I will pass it along (with credit of course) in a future column!